As a kid, you played by the water and made sandcastles on the beach. The castle stood strong until a big wave washed it away. After a sigh of disappointment, you started building another castle from scratch.
By growing up and gaining more wisdom, you realize that waves are a part of life. It’s therefore essential to have a strong foundation if you want something that will last and not easily wash away.
When building a foundation for a house, it’s common sense to use concrete, and not sand from the beach. On the other hand, when it’s about ourselves and our personal foundation, it’s not always that obvious.
Building a strong foundation for who you are is crucial. Waves will always be a part of life. But when you’re under pressure, will you be a sandcastle or a stable concrete floor?
Below are a few stepping-stones that will bring clarity and help you build a strong foundation for who you are.
Take your time, reflect deeply and write down your answers.
What are your personal values?
Your values describe your character, what you think is important and what you stand for. The marvelous thing about values is that they bring clarity to life and can guide you when you make decisions.
To know oneself, it’s essential to define one’s personal values.
Values aren’t just words on a piece of paper. They’re something you should live in alignment with and hold on to, no matter the consequences.
As you grow and enter different phases of life, some of your values will modify. Your values can be adjusted. They’re not fixed. That said, this doesn’t mean that you’ll change your values as often as your underwear.
1. Brainstorm and write down all the values you find important.
2. Determine your top 10 values, and prioritize them from 1-10.
A list of different values:
If you find it hard to identify your values, ask yourself these questions:
When in my life did I feel really happy, proud, and fulfilled? What was the cause of it?
At my funeral, how would I want my family and friends to describe me?
Define Where You’re Going
Most people don’t truly know what they want out of life.
The masses wander aimlessly and follow society’s beaten path. Conformity and mediocrity dominate, because it’s the simple way. It’s easier to be told what to do than to think independently and act boldly.
No longer do you have to walk around without a direction. It’s time for a change.
What’s Your Life’s Purpose?
First and foremost, the only one who authentically can answer that question is you. Nobody else. It’s about what you personally want, not what your friends, family or society expect.
Your purpose is something bigger than yourself. It’s the legacy you’re going to leave on this planet. It will bring meaning to your actions and sacrifices. It is your underlying ’’why’’.
Everybody has a life purpose. It’s whatever they choose it to be.
If you haven’t found your purpose, don’t continue to sit at home, crying and contemplating it. Instead, begin to discover your purpose by taking massive action. Try new things, get your hands dirty and discover what you’re passionate about.
Some people believe that you don’t choose your purpose. They think it’s something you’re born with. These people may just have realized what mattered to them early in life – but who am I to speak for them?
The danger in believing that you don’t choose your purpose is inaction.
Inaction causes you to sit around and wait for your purpose to arrive in the mailbox. And that, my friend, is a waste of your valuable time.
1. Ask yourself:
What difference can I make?
How can I create value?
What kind of legacy do I want to create?
What’s important to me?
How can I impact other people’s lives?
What am I willing to sacrifice for the larger picture?
2. Get busy, try new things and take massive action.
3. Write down your purpose and read it every day.
What are your Goals?
In life, you’ll get what you focus on. Having goals keeps that focus in the right place.
Without clear goals, it’s easy to be consumed by daily tasks. To the naked eye it may seem like you’re being productive. But how many of these tasks are actually taking you closer to the life you desire?
It’s not rocket science or a nuanced idea, but you it’s crucial for achieving any goal: you must align your actions with your goals.
”Will what I am about to do, bring me closer to, or take me further from my goals?” – Zig Ziglar
Before you set any goals, it’s critical to define your values and purpose, because they’re the basis for your goals. Your goals will be the stepping-stones you use to achieve your purpose.
Don’t limit yourself. Think big when you set goals!
1. Write down your goals. Be specific.
2. Set a deadline.
3. Make a detailed plan, and break down the goals into daily actionable tasks.
4. Tell somebody your goals. This will make you more accountable.
5. Celebrate every small step forward.
6. Take action until you achieve your goals.
In life, the actions you take as a man will define you – not your intentions, or what you say.
Have the determination and put in the effort required to achieve your goals. Otherwise you’ll end up like 99% of men who only talk – the men who have the nerves to whine about their unachieved goals and expect the world to hand them success on a silver platter, even though they haven’t put in the fucking work.
Be a man of action. A man who keeps his integrity and follows through on what he says he’s going to do.
The person you become by developing your foundation is something nobody can take away from you. You can be stripped of everything you own, but the person you become is something that remains and can’t be taken.
If a successful millionaire gave away everything he owned and had to start from the bottom again, how likely is it that he would become a millionaire again?
Within a few years, he would be back at the same level, if not at an even higher level. Even if he gave away his fortune, he would still possess the character and mindset of a millionaire. His journey made him into the kind of man whose reality would eventually align with his goals.
The important part isn’t the goal itself, but the person you become.